Platonic Love Is Just As Powerful As Sexual Love

Men are attracted to people whose bodies arouse them. They need to ejaculate through penetrative sex to obtain the physical gratification that may give them a sense of intimacy with another person. So men promote sexual love. They think that love between adults should always be sexually motivated because that’s how they experience it. Some men disrespect women they have sex with. Other men use sex to humiliate others.

Sexual love arises from a man’s gratitude for the physical gratification he enjoys with a lover. Sexual love involves a man focusing on his own pleasure rather than responding to a lover’s needs. Sexual love only lasts as long as a man is enjoying regular sex. So sexual love is not as long-lasting as platonic love based solely on affection. Women do not have an arousal cycle. Nor do women experience sexual frustration or a need to engage in intercourse or any other sexual activity. Women do not need to achieve orgasm with a lover, in order to make an emotional connection.

Men assume platonic love is inferior for being sexless. They think that an unresponsive person might as well be dead. If a man spends time on romantic dinners or money on gifts, he no doubt appreciates that his efforts are not going to help arouse a woman. A woman appreciates these things because they are indications that a man cares about her. This is the kind of platonic love (companionable and affectionate) that women value.

For women, the sense of emotional connection, the love and caring about someone else are achieved differently. For women, sex is not about functional biology but about feelings and mental connection. Women can be more relaxed about enjoying sex than men are because sexual activity is less functional and less needy. Lesbians are likely to benefit most from this female approach to sensual and emotional pleasuring.

Women alone have little reason to embark on intimate relationships with other adults. Male sex drive is the trigger that initiates most adult sexual relationships. This may explain why lesbians often delay starting sexual relationships. If women behaved like men, adult relationships would be much shorter than they are. Women’s willingness to offer intercourse cements the relationships that men initiate for sexual reasons. Women’s desire for affectionate companionship allows heterosexual and lesbian relationships to endure beyond the initial passion and novelty of casual sex.

Given their lack of arousal with a lover, sex is meaningless to women as an erotic activity. Women focus on platonic love, which relies on emotional intimacy that builds up over time by a person being consistently caring. Platonic love is about affectionate companionship and showing consideration for a lover. Women’s ability to care for a partner means that relationships involving women (heterosexual and lesbian) last much longer than relationships involving only men (male homosexual relationships), which tend to focus on physical gratification and a variety of partners.

A woman sees a man foremost as a social person. Women do not love men for their sexual attributes. Women love men who they can rely on for moral and practical support. Women feel cared for because of the sexual love that men have for them. But this doesn’t make women’s love sexual. Women are not aroused but they like feeling needed, admired and desired. Women please a male lover by offering him sexual release through intercourse.

Women’s emotional bonding mechanism must be sufficiently enduring to motivate them to care for children over decades. This bonding mechanism stems from women’s nurturing instincts and has nothing to do with sexual rewards. Men’s emotional bonding mechanism is much weaker, allowing them to leave the family to pursue their own interests. The key motivating factor for a man on returning home is knowing that his partner will offer him regular intercourse. Men love their children but they are not motivated to devote their lives to raising them, to the exclusion of all other pursuits.

Women get emotional payback in other (non-sexual) ways. Women experience nurturing love. Women want to share their lives with a companion who is interesting to be with and who is interested in them. Women see love as giving not taking. Women are motivated by nurturing instincts and the opportunity to care for others. Women obtain emotional rewards from demonstrating affection and by caring for someone else.

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Women Do Not Need to Be Like Men to Be Valid

Only female sexuality is political. No one tries to exaggerate male arousal. Few people want to discuss male sexuality. Women are certainly not aroused by or even interested in discussing sexual topics. Feminist educators tell young women that they should be less intent on pleasing men. Just exactly what does everyone think women have been doing since the dawn of time? By siding with the male view, these educators are conforming to the male view of female sexuality just as much as any other woman.

Sex experts advise young women to masturbate, so they know that female masturbation is not a natural phenomenon (like male masturbation). But no one ever considers that perhaps this behaviour (of not masturbating) is normal for women. Noticeably, advice is always given on the basis of theory rather than personal experience. They know that sexual pleasure is more obscure for women otherwise they would not need to give the advice. No one tells boys to enjoy sex. There is no ‘should’ about sexual pleasure.

Some women eulogise about the clitoris but if girls were aroused, as easily as boys are, they would know that they need to stimulate their sex organ to achieve orgasm. Given orgasm obviously doesn’t occur naturally, experts are not forthcoming with explicit details. It’s just another form of bravado.

Other women assume that the sensations they feel from intercourse must equate to orgasm. They feel justified in lecturing other women on how easy orgasm is for them. But they have no idea about arousal or eroticism. In general women of all ages have very low expectations for sexual pleasure.

It is a form of bullying to tell women that they should experience something that they are very obviously incapable of. Men put pressure on women as a means of maximising their sexual opportunities, which is understandable given men’s sex drive. Women bully other women purely out of selfish ego, ignorance and the desire to make money, which is much less forgivable.

Today girls are advised to be sexually daring and self-confident. This sends contradictory messages to girls. Are they supposed to be sexually willing or should they aspire to a loving relationship? Some girls feel pressured by the implication that they are supposed to enjoy sexual activity with a lover. They are bullied into offering fellatio and accepting anal sex, for example.

Sex educators are often intent on telling girls that they can hope to enjoy erotic pleasure from sex. When it is suggested that young women should be encouraged to enjoy sexual pleasure, the idea is strongly opposed by many mothers. Mothers know from experience that women do not obtain the same pleasure from sex that men do. Even with reliable contraception, there are many occasions when a couple is caught unprepared. Men are often unwilling to use a condom because it reduces their pleasure. Mothers don’t want their daughters getting pregnant while providing male pleasure.

We will never be able to protect girls, if we are not honest about what they can expect from their sexual experiences. Images of female nudity on the internet give the impression that women are offering sex but many images are posted by men. Most of the money in the sex industry is made by men. Even women, who are promoting a sexual image of themselves, are not looking for erotic turn-ons for themselves (such as images of male nudity) or opportunities to enjoy their own orgasm. Girls need to appreciate this. Any woman who wants intercourse, can find it easily enough. It’s only when women try to make money out of men that they need to advertise.

The internet is full of images of women in various states of undress. Women use partial nudity to attract men and to signal their potential amenability to sex. Women feel entitled to display their bodies as long as there are no consequences. In situations where they are protected from male advances, some women enjoy the admiration they get from displaying themselves. A woman displays her body either to experiment (out of curiosity), for ego (to impress a man) or just for the fun of it (bravado)! But as soon as women get unwanted males sexual advances, they are angry, disgusted or offended.

When a woman admits a lack of orgasm, she is told to find another man. It’s as if we are telling girls they should approach life as an endless quest for a man who can ‘make them orgasm’. There is little concern voiced over the risks of pregnancy, sexual disease and the emotional upset that go with promiscuity. There is a view that adults only ever engage in sexual activity that ends with their own orgasm. Where would the human race be today, if women behaved like this? The idea that women can enjoy an emotional connection and giving pleasure doesn’t appeal. It’s not macho enough.

In general, men do and women talk. A man spends his life with work colleagues and other strangers. He focuses on achieving a goal such as making money. Most women prefer sharing their lives with those they love. Her relationships are central to defining the quality of a woman’s life. Women don’t really want to be like men. They want the respect that men have. Society awards honours to men, not because women’s contribution is not valued but, because we rely on men for defence and survival.

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Women Drive the Need for Dating and Romance

Without sex, there may be friendship between adults but there is little physical and emotional intimacy. Heterosexual women are dependent on men to provide this sense of passion and connection with another adult. Platonic love is caring and affectionate. Sexual love (or reciprocating sexual love) can be more intensely emotional (at least in the beginning). Women experience this phenomenon by co-operating with a man’s sex drive.

When a woman is affectionate with a man, he interprets this as a desire for sexual intimacy. This is because he is aroused by her physical proximity and he assumes that she responds sexually in the same way. A woman is not typically amenable to intercourse on first meeting a man. Her amenability grows as she gains confidence that a man’s devotion may last beyond a one-off opportunity for intercourse. By accepting a man’s sexual advances, a woman demonstrates her love for him and she is rewarded by his gratitude.

Homosexual men can approach each other and, with little more than a brief acknowledgement, head off to engage in sexual activity. Heterosexual men do not have the same freedom. Unless a woman is offering sex for money, most women need some lead into sex. It is not just a question of attraction. Women need to feel safe so that they can trust a man enough to be intimate. This is because there are some very dangerous men who prey on women.

Men judge women primarily on their attractiveness and amenability to intercourse. Women have to be much more careful about assessing a partner’s character. Some men will attack, rape and even kill a woman. Men don’t have this contradiction in their dealings with women. In order to survive, women must be more socially mature than men. Women must also be less sexually driven. They cannot base their relationships with the opposite sex purely on sexual criteria as men can. Most women take longer than men to choose a lover because they hope for more than good looks.

Women do not experience arousal as men do. They have a different mechanism that generates a sense of intimacy. Women love men who take an interest in them. Most women need to feel an emotional connection before sex feels appropriate. This emotional connection arises when a woman is attracted to a man who she can see is motivated to care for her. This is not a conscious trade. It is a subconscious response to feeling admired, which reassures her that a man will protect her (from other men).

Women worldwide enjoy the emotions they feel from reading romantic stories. These focus on the period of time before a man and a woman become a committed couple. A woman enjoys the experience of having a man demonstrate his admiration and his devotion. These feelings are much more intense than those a child feels for a parent. But they are not as strong (in the sense of urgency rather than long-lasting) as a man’s genital urges.

A man’s interest in a woman arises primarily from his sex drive, at least in the first instance. Young women may assume that male admiration is evidence of a man’s eternal love. This is not always true. A more astute or experienced woman may delay showing her approval to find out if a man’s intentions are for the longer term. There’s a certain logic to a woman making a man wait for sex in the beginning. Men seem to value sex more if they have to work for it. Sex that is obtained with difficulty feels like more of a conquest to a man than if a woman just lays herself out before him.

Men stress about what they can do or say to impress a woman to get her into bed. So they are frustrated when a date does not result in sex. An experienced woman knows that any relationship with a man involves an on-going commitment to offer regular sex. So although it’s only one time, it’s usually the first time out of many. A man more or less assumes that the arrangement is on-going. This makes the first time a much bigger decision.

Men’s confidence is largely bravado. A man uses innuendo to flatter a woman into passively agreeing with him. A woman likes knowing that she has a man’s attention and that he is interested in her. A woman expects a man to show her the same respect he shows his boss. She hopes that he will want to impress her as much as he does his colleagues. She hopes that he will be as motivated to spend time with her as he is with his male friends.

The secret of male courage is to act and not think too much, otherwise doubt and fear set in. It doesn’t help men be good defenders, if they are always empathising with the enemy. However this instinct doesn’t help men when it comes to relationships with women. A woman wants to understand a man’s motivations, his values and morals. This is self-defence. A woman wants a lover who is loving, interesting and has a sense of humour. Throughout a relationship a woman needs a man to communicate his motivations so that she can trust that he doesn’t take advantage of her love.

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